Parenting is great. Kids are great. Most of the time, at least. But kids bring with them many challenges. And I am not even speaking of the usual raising-them-properly and teaching-them-good-manners challenges. No, I am talking about how they can make it so challenging for you to have sex.
I have already spoken before about how difficult it can be to be a sex blogging mum. When do you make time to test sex toys and take good pictures? After all, you don’t want the kids to ask awkward questions, right? But today I want to talk about trying to have sex with your partner when you have kids.
As always, this article will be about my own experience specifically, but I can’t imagine that other parents won’t see at least something they recognise. When our children were younger, the most we needed to worry about during sex was them calling out for us from another room. Annoying, naturally, but not risky as they couldn’t get out of bed to come barging into our bedroom at the wrong time.
But now my kids are older and they can, unfortunately, get out of bed and come into our bedroom. Or come downstairs just when we have decided to get it on in front of the fire. As the kids get older, they also go to bed later, which results in us waiting frustratingly until we are (near) certain that the kids are asleep. I am quite sure my oldest has heard some strange vibrating sounds from our bedroom before, but he wisely has not commented on it. Luckily we are both quiet (vocally) so I don’t think we have scarred our kids yet.
As with all challenges, the more we are subjected to them, the better we get at dealing with them. The first time our son knocked on our bedroom door during sex, we were so mortified that after dealing with him we couldn’t possibly get in the mood again. We spent probably an hour trying to decide whether he would have heard something when he knocked on the door.
When – months later – he nearly walked in on us downstairs – luckily after the deed was done – we had the presence of mind to pull a blanket over us and pretend all was normal. And since then we have had more interruptions, most of the “I can’t sleep” variety, which, I have to say, drive me out of my mind. The point is, the first interruption really threw us off balance and killed the mood. Nowadays? We deal with the issue and get right back into it. We are also less alert and worried about our kids knocking on the door. To be honest, I don’t really care if they think – or know – we are having sex, it’s a normal activity and as long as we are not loudly vocal about it, I hardly think it will scar them.
Luckily there are still days when we can have sex without worrying about anything. I work not too far from home and it is sometimes possible for me to nip home for “lunch” and have a quickie with hubby. Despite being able to deal with the challenge of being interrupted, having sex while knowing you won’t be interrupted is still the best.