I love being a sex blogger and I love the sex blogging community. Eroticon was amazing: meeting other sex bloggers in person was such a great experience and I am really hoping I can get the money together to attend again next year.
When I first started blogging I didn’t know anyone. No one in my real life was even remotely interested in talking about sex and my online presence hadn’t really been established yet, so I set out to find bloggers on Twitter. It didn’t take me that long to find some bloggers – once I found a blogger, I looked at the people they followed and usually there would be more bloggers on that list.
By chance, I heard about last year’s Summer 100 challenge and I decided to join in. The best part of the challenge was finding more bloggers and connecting with them. Not all of them stuck it out for the whole challenge and I have to admit that I didn’t keep up with everyone’s blog, but I was very happy having expanded my blogger network a bit.
The one thing I did notice about the sex blogger’s network – and especially on Twitter – is that the same names keep popping up again. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but when the #SoSS hashtag took off, I was looking forward to finding out about new bloggers who hadn’t hit my radar yet. I didn’t really find that many. And yet; surely the blogging community wasn’t confined to the little group I was part of already? How would I find out about other bloggers?
Memes and other challenges are also a great way of getting to know more sex bloggers. I really enjoyed joining in with the #30DayOrgasmFun challenge, of which Victoria has a great round up. I liked this challenge because it didn’t really involve blogging and hey, masturbating every day is always fun, right? Not that I really did that well, but it was fun to read other people’s experiences with it.
I find it difficult to talk about the “sex blogging community” as a whole, as I am not even sure I know the whole community. Sure, I have my little corner with my familiar people on Twitter, but that is only a limited part of the community. And that part of the sex blogging community is overwhelmingly white. Which is why I really liked that Victoria put as one of the goals of the Summer 100 challenge this year that we should promote marginalised bloggers. I, for one, am really excited to see a lot of sex bloggers of colour and a lot of new-to-me faces among the participants. I want my sex blogging community to be more diverse and more inclusive, so you can count on me promoting those blogs more over the next summer.
As I said at the beginning of my post: I love the sex blogging community. The people I have met have been very lovely to me. When I started out, a lot of sex bloggers were more than willing to help me out. Yet, I can’t help feeling that sometimes the community can be a bit of a clique. A clique where certain people (mostly marginalised people) don’t get as much of a voice. That was most visible in the uproar about how O.School treated their Pleasure Professionals, with Carly from Dildo or DilDon’t rightly pointing out that WoC were most adversely affected by O.School and yet they were featured least in the blog posts and articles that came out around that time. But I also see it in how few marginalised sex bloggers are featured in #SoSs posts (again something Carly brought to my attention).
I am a white, middle class (and yes, middle aged) woman. I have grown up with a certain amount of bias and a certain set of racist beliefs. I am not a racist and my beliefs right now are far from the ones I had growing up, but I admit that there are still ingrained beliefs that I am probably not even aware of that may be racist. I want to expand my own sex blogging community to ensure that it is a diverse, inclusive space. But I also want to be held accountable for anything I say or do that is racist or that is exclusionary.
I am only a small blogger. My voice isn’t strong and my reach isn’t particularly wide. But I will use the Summer 100 Challenge as an opportunity to get to know more marginalised bloggers and to promote their content as much as possible.
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