Good girls don’t talk about sex

Shh! Don’t tell anyone, but I am not a good girl. Actually, I am not a girl at all, I am a woman. But I am also not a decent woman. If you have any familiarity with my blog (or Twitter account) you know why: I talk about sex. A lot.

You see, good girls, decent women, don’t talk about sex. Only loose women do. Bad girls. The ones your mother warned you about. The ones MY mum warned me about. And now I have become one. I am a happily married, monogamous woman who loves sex. I love having it, I love talking about it and I love writing about it. So therefore it must mean that I am a rude, indecent woman. A bad girl. Right?

I sometimes wonder how my colleagues or my friends or my family would react if they knew about my blog. I know many of them would be very judgemental. I can hear it now. I would not have expected that of you, they would say, a shocked look on their face. Because once they know that I write about sex, their image of me as a decent woman will be shattered. It won’t matter then that I am a good mother, a hard worker, a loyal friend. None of that will wipe out the fact that I am open about sex.

It is no wonder then that many sex bloggers are protective of their anonymity. And unlike in some other countries, here in the UK writing about sex is not illegal. I was shocked to find out that it is illegal in some states of America. Having grown up in the Netherlands that just completely blows my mind. How can that be in this day and age? It frustrates me to no end that the prevalent attitude of society is to vilify anyone who works in the sex industry.

I am not brave. I stay as anonymous as possible on the internet. I don’t want to face the judgement of the people in my life. But if my identity does become known, it won’t be the end of the world. I’ll survive the judgement of others. And I won’t stop talking about sex. Because apart from simply enjoying it – and enjoying testing all those wonderful sex toys – I also think it is important to provide a place where women can learn about sex. I write about sex for my 20-something year old self who would have greatly benefited from all this information. I am a sex blogger because I feel the need to share my experience so others can benefit. And I maintain my blog as compensation for the fact that I can only talk about sex with a very small handful of people in my life.

So go ahead. Call me a rude, indecent woman. Call me a bad girl. I have run out of fucks to give.

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