I grew up in a very conservative household. My parents were devout Christians and raised me and my siblings accordingly. This meant that our sex education purely covered the absolute basics and nothing else. And since I also attended a conservative Christian school, I did not receive any sex ed at school which could enlighten me any more.
So this found me, at nineteen, completely in the dark as to how amazing sex is. I thought that sex was something you did when you got married in order to have children. It never occurred to me that sex was something to simply be enjoyed. It wasn’t until I met my – much older and decidedly not Christian – boyfriend that I learnt the truth about sex. We ended up parting ways, but I will forever be grateful for his very patient teachings.
If you are familiar with my blog and follow me on Twitter, you know that I love sex and erotica. Yet, I still consider myself a Christian. Many Christians, my family included, would condemn me for my attitude towards sex. A Christian should not enjoy sex that much, or talk about it that much, or – worse even – write sexually explicit books. Sex belongs in the bedroom and should stay there. It should be a private affair between husband and wife.
Needless to say, I disagree. In true Christian tradition I am strictly monogamous, but I do think that fantasies are healthy. I think it is healthy to discuss sex with a variety of people, so you know you are not alone in your cravings and fantasies. And you can learn so much from other people. Nor do I think that it is unbiblical to love sex. I mean, let’s get real here, there is a whole book in the Bible devoted to sex. Don’t believe me? Go and read Song of Solomon and I dare you to tell me that is not an erotic poem. Being a Christian and being intensely erotic are not mutually exclusive.
I am not brave enough to point my church friends to this blog or my Twitter account. Apart from the erotic content, it is also deeply personal and TMI for most people. But I do try to talk to my sisters about sex whenever I can. Two of my sisters are just as obsessed with sex and find the idea I am writing erotica hilarious. (One of them suggested publishing it in my mum’s name, but I am not that cruel.) My other sister, however, still thinks it is dirty to talk about sex, so I have given her up as a lost cause. She is also very conservative, so I guess my mum’s lessons have stuck with her.
Sex is something we should celebrate, not hide away as something dirty and shameful. Clearly God thought so too, or why would He have put a whole book in the Bible devoted to it? So if there are any Christians shyly lurking here, wondering if it is all right to love sex, I say to you: enjoy it as much as you can. Be sensible, but never be ashamed. Talk about sex with others, find out what it is you like and find someone you can enjoy it with. It’s part of life, it’s a gift from God, so don’t waste it!