If you follow me on Twitter, you will be aware that I am moving house. (I promise I will stop moaning about it soon.) As part of the house move, I flipped through some old pictures from my student years and damn! I was so young and skinny. My immediate reaction was, ‘I wish I still had that body’. Because, you know, skinny is beautiful. Skinny is good. And beauty is most important.
No, not really. That is just what society wants women to believe. Which leads me to this post. Despite knowing that beauty comes from inside and that skinny isn’t synonymous with beautiful, I am still very hard on myself. Assessing whether I look fat, or have gained weight. Society’s idea of beauty has lodged itself in my brain, whether I like it or not. And it is very hard to dislodge.
My body is great. No, I am no longer young and skinny. But I love my body just the way it is. I no longer suffer from chronic pain as I did in my twenties. I have a raging libido. I am energetic and strong. My body has been through a lot and has become stronger. That is why I love it. Not because it conforms to some arbitrary ideal of beauty. Besides, isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder? And considering the amount of different people on the planet, each beholder will have another idea of beauty. So time for me to give up on trying to be beautiful and just be myself, with the glorious, strong body I have.