Masturbation Monday: Masturbating shamelessly

 
The shower is hot and as I soap myself in I get wet with anticipation about what will follow soon. My bullet vibe is on the edge of the tub and when I am finished washing, I position myself so that the shower hits my pussy and I reach for my bullet vibe. I cue up one of my favourite fantasies and turn the vibe on. A few minutes later I am coming, gasping and shuddering.

This is how some (but not all) of my mornings start nowadays. I don’t always have time, as it often takes more than a few minutes for me to come, but when I am very horny, an orgasm isn’t hard to achieve. With the aid of some quite graphic fantasies, I find myself climaxing relatively quickly. It’s a great start of the day and it leaves me wanting hubby even more, guaranteeing partnered sex at night.

I wasn’t always this uninhibited when it came to masturbation. In fact, up until about three years ago, I had a lot of shame around self-pleasure. Masturbating meant a quick rub under the covers, as quietly as possible, even if I was alone in the house. I had some fantasies, but was afraid to indulge in them too much. Afraid of what though? That I would make the fantasies reality? That I would become too “corrupt”?

My conservative Christian upbringing was largely to blame for my attitude towards masturbation. After all, sex was for making babies, I had always been told. Not for the sheer enjoyment of it all. Pleasure hardly featured in this view, let alone self-pleasure. Indulging in having orgasms for the sake of feeling that joyful relief was sinful. So whenever I felt the urge to touch myself, I only did so if I could no longer stand how horny I was. And then I only did the bare minimum necessary to relieve most of the tension.

Since then a lot has changed. I had surgery for a medical issue and my libido skyrocketed. I craved sex all the time, so not masturbating wasn’t really an option. I also started this blog around the same time and hubby bought us some sex toys. It was as if a whole world had opened up for me. The sex toys allowed me to have better, deeper orgasms, and faster too. And through this blog I came into contact with other sex bloggers.

Sex blogging really shed me of most of my inhibitions. I wouldn’t say I am completely uninhibited when it comes to sex, but when it comes to masturbation I no longer feel any shame. Most days I masturbate quickly in the shower before work, or at the end of the day. But when I have a chance – either when hubby isn’t home or when I am travelling – I plan a more elaborate masturbation session. I line up my favourite sex toys, my lube and grab some erotica or cue up some porn. I really take my time, trying to draw out my orgasm as much as possible.

Masturbating shouldn’t be done shamefully, but there are still so many people who think it’s wrong to masturbate. I would know, I was one of them. But masturbation is not only fun and pleasurable, but it also has other benefits. It can be really good to explore in a safe setting what things you like sexually. There is no pressure to please someone else, or even any pressure to have an orgasm.

I am grateful for how my life has changed. I certainly feel more sexually empowered now that I masturbate shamelessly. And hubby is also reaping the benefits, so how can I complain?