Yesterday was the third anniversary party of the Scarlet Ladies and I was lucky enough to be able to go. Scarlet Ladies is still the only group in the UK for ladies to come together and talk openly about sex. Which is shocking if you think about it. We live in 2018 and only Jannette and Sarah, founders of Scarlet Ladies, have enough vision (and courage) to set up a women’s-only club. A club where women can network, talk openly with like-minded women about sex. I am so grateful for this group, but I weep for all the women elsewhere in the UK who are missing out.
I love being part of the Scarlet Ladies. I am not a very sociable, extrovert person, so I generally find it hard to make friends. I think the difficulty in making friends may also lie in the fact that I find it hard to talk openly with women about issues that matter to me. Sexuality. Feminism. I love writing erotica and I am proud of my blog, but very few people in my real life right now would understand that. But at the Scarlet Ladies I can be myself. More than that: I can learn more about sexuality in ways I never would have imagined. There are so many diverse women at Scarlet Ladies who help me expand my horizons.
I don’t live in London, so taking the train up to London for a Scarlet Ladies event is always a bit of a hurdle for me. Often I am tired at the end of the day and just want to go home and veg. But I always honour my commitments, so if I do sign up for an event, I go. Not once have I ever regretted going. On the contrary. Without fail, no matter what the topic of the evening is, I leave Scarlet Ladies energised. It is as if my soul has received a good cleansing. Being with the Scarlet Ladies is like being enveloped in a big, warm hug. Everyone is on the same wavelength. Everyone is supportive and everyone believes in you.
Sure, there are disagreements on topics, discussions about various things. You can’t expect everyone to have the same opinion. And that is perfect, as that is how we learn from each other. But no matter how heated the discussions may get, there is always, always respect. There is never anger and hatred against one another. Discussions are productive and constructive. We challenge each other, but we don’t diss each other. There is no condescension, no one is being ridiculed for what they believe.
Being with the Scarlet Ladies is one of the most uplifting experiences in my life. I know that sounds like I am exaggerating, but I’m truly not. I feel so good being able to be completely myself. I know that no one will patronise me, no one will judge me. And on top of that, I get to experience a lot of fantastic things. Take the party, for example. Taking place at the home of Scarlet Ladies at 23 Paul Street, the sumptuous rooms were full of women celebrating being able to openly talk about sex. We were treated to stripteases and I was allowed to volunteer for a lap dance from a lovely lady. I chatted with many great women about a variety of subjects and after only having been a member for 7 months I am already starting to form friendships.
Even a year ago, I would have laughed if you’d told me I would be in the rooms of a gentlemen’s club receiving a lap dance. I would have loved the idea, but I would have protested that that wasn’t me. I would have been too scared to admit that I would love it. But among the Scarlet Ladies I don’t feel ashamed. I don’t feel embarrassed for loving women’s bodies. I don’t have to feign embarrassment for receiving a lap dance. No one shames me for absolutely loving the experience.
I love the Scarlet Ladies because I don’t have to pretend. I can be myself and for the first time in my life, my true self is celebrated, not shamed. I never knew how amazing and liberating that could be.
So thank you, Jannette and Sarah, for creating this space for me. Thank you for being who you are and for what you do. And congratulations on the 3rd anniversary of the Scarlet Ladies!
If you are not a member yourself, why not check out one of the Open House evenings? You can read about what the events are like here.