Taking up space in a men’s world

I grew up with the belief that men are superior to women. It wasn’t just my parents who taught me that: at every turn in my life, society made sure I knew damn well that I should shut up and listen to men. Things haven’t changed. Especially at work, it is abundantly clear that men receive preferential treatment. Ideas proposed by me are shut down, but when my male colleague proposes the same idea a day or two later (or sometimes in the same meeting), it’s greeted with praise and enthusiasm. Continue reading “Taking up space in a men’s world”

Your partner isn’t responsible for your happiness

tangled limbs

A few days ago I wrote about how hubby and I keep our relationship going. Since posting that article, I had a few more thoughts on the subject. And in particular around relationships and happiness. Of course we all want a partner with whom we can be happy. But you can’t make your partner responsible for your happiness. Continue reading “Your partner isn’t responsible for your happiness”

Full disclosure: does your partner need to know everything about you?

Couple relaxing with pug

Do you tell your partner everything? I often hear people say, “My partner and I have no secrets from each other.” That is, of course, a laudable sentiment, but this same sentiment can be used as an abusive tactic. We need to be clear about what we mean by saying this. Continue reading “Full disclosure: does your partner need to know everything about you?”

How not to compliment a woman

business man and woman
It is the year 2018. Women are increasingly vocal about how they want to be treated. The #MeToo movement is still going strong. We see small victories for women in the media, though not as pronounced as we would like it to be. And yet, so many men are still confused over how they should treat women, especially in the workplace. Continue reading “How not to compliment a woman”

Body hair is not unhygienic

Recently I had a discussion with my 8 year old son about body hair. In particular, myy body hair. I am fairly lax when it comes to shaving, especially in the winter. I don’t really see a reason to keep my legs and armpits completely smooth when no one – apart from my husband – is going to see them anyway. Continue reading “Body hair is not unhygienic”

Women aren’t rivals, but the patriarchy needs us to be

women are not rivals

There are many insidious ways for the patriarchy to keep women in their place. I have written before about misconceptions of the role of women, as well as the way women are described in books. What I want to touch on today is the portrayal of women as rivals. Continue reading “Women aren’t rivals, but the patriarchy needs us to be”

Stop describing female characters based on their level of beauty

On the weekend I read this excellent post on Vulture about how famous female characters were described in their screenplays. It really opened my eyes to the fact that so often women are described based on where they fall on the beauty scale. And this is not limited to screenplays in any way. Continue reading “Stop describing female characters based on their level of beauty”

Toxic masculinity is harmful to everyone

The #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have brought to light the extent to which women are harassed every day. And wherever a discussion about sexual harassment takes place, you can be guaranteed that some men will show up, angry at these accusations. Or lamenting how hard they have it and how male suicide is such an issue. And there definitely are problems with the way men are being raised. It all comes down to toxic masculinity. Continue reading “Toxic masculinity is harmful to everyone”

I am becoming a confident, demanding woman

I like to think of myself as a confident woman. I don’t lack the confidence to wear whatever clothes I like, or to speak my mind, especially on my blog. But since I have become more enlightened in a feminist way, I realise how much I still conform to society’s norms of women being compliant and non-demanding. Continue reading “I am becoming a confident, demanding woman”