It’s been a hard couple of months. As I wrote a while back, I went without sex for quite a while because of various health issues, which also really stalled my blogging. Not feeling sexy is really not good when you’re a sex blogger. I was eagerly awaiting the return of my libido, but it didn’t really seem to be forthcoming.
In a happy turn of events, my libido has finally come back. I wish I had tips or strategies I used for getting my libido back, but it spontaneously returned. One day I was feeling like crap, not wanting to even think about sex, and the next I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I think some of it has to do with the fact that I’m physically feeling better now that I’m recovering from my many surgeries. More energy always equated to a better libido for me.
Not having a raging libido isn’t something to be ashamed of. I’ve long advocated this. But advocating it and really feeling the truth of that when you’re in the middle of the longest dry spell in forever are two different things. I really struggled with my self-esteem and feeling like a valid sex blogger. Now that I’m finally out of the woods, there are a few lessons I’ve learned from this.
Be kind to yourself
We’re not machines. No human can be “on” all the time and circumstances outside your control can really mess up your life. Feeling bad about something you can’t really control isn’t helpful and will only put more pressure on you at a time you really don’t need it. Be kind to yourself. Focus on getting through whatever it is that’s going on and don’t worry too much about what you’re “supposed” to do.
Listen to your body
Part of the reason my libido was hiding was because I’d been suffering from kidney stones and needed a few surgeries to get rid of them. While I was suffering from kidney stones, the pain made it impossible for me to feel sexy, or to physically enjoy sex. I was able to be kind to myself during that time, but as soon as I felt better, I expected to go back to normal almost right away. I had to learn to listen to my body, which was still healing and recovering, even though I was pain free. My tiredness was my body’s way of telling me to take it easy and rest more.
Don’t stop writing about sex
This is I think the biggest lesson I learned. Just because I wasn’t having sex, or feeling sexy, I shouldn’t have stopped writing about sex. My erotica took a dive and my blog really suffered from me not wanting to write. I felt like a fraud because how could I write about sex when I hadn’t had any in so long? But being open about struggles with sex is just as valuable as raving about how much I’m getting laid.
Having said that, I’m thrilled that my libido is back. Getting that orgasm that signalled the end of a dry spell (even if it was self-induced) was such a thrill. It is true that if you’ve abstained from sex for a while, the orgasms are so much better. I guess that was the one tiny silver lining about this whole thing. Anyhow, expect more regular content now that I feel like myself again.
Thank you fo sticking with me!
Coming soon – Completely Yours
What is the price of being true to oneself?
Caroline is on top of her game. Black Goddess, her company, is opening a store in New York, and a week away from the office is just what Caroline needs. In Toronto, she has to play the role of the prim, successful business woman, romantically linked with her business partner Daniel. But in New York she can be sexually free. It doesn’t hurt that this time, her attractive project manager Alisha is coming with them.
Alisha is attracted to both her bosses, but she is determined not to jeopardise her career. This determination is shaken when Caroline proposes a no-strings attached sexual relationship for the duration of the business trip. Unable to deny her feelings Alisha embarks upon a scorching sexual journey with Caroline.
Daniel is in love with Caroline. Knowing that their romantic relationship is nothing more than a facade with no chance of ever becoming a reality, Daniel decides to quit his job as Caroline’s business partner in an effort to protect his heart. All he has to do is survive the week in New York. But can he continue to deny his feelings, especially when Caroline needs him?
When the media makes details of Caroline’s sexual excesses public, Caroline, Alisha and Daniel must work together to save the future of Black Goddess—and their hearts.
You can pre-order Completely Yours now.