Your sex blogger voice matters

I really had a great time at Eroticon. All of the talks I went to were informative and inspiring. The day started off great with Girl on the Net’s talk. As part of her talk she displayed a number of reasons which makes it difficult for us sex bloggers to write. One of them said “Someone else has already blogged about it better than I could.”

Girl on the Net addressed this – and the other insecurities we have about being a sex blogger – in her talk, but I wanted to say a few words on this particular thought as well. Especially since I have received comments like that on some of my own blog posts. Comments like: “I have wanted to write something about this topic for a while, but you have said it so much better than I could.”

That is a nice compliment, but not altogether true. I don’t think I am an exceptional writer. Often I just fling my thoughts on the page, hoping it will make sense to someone. But even if it was super eloquently written, that is still no reason not to write about the same issue yourself.

Your voice is different

The first reason to write about an issue that someone else has already written about is that your voice as a sex blogger is different from anyone else’s. You bring you own unique experiences to the table an can therefore offer a different perspective on the issue. Or maybe you will express your thoughts in a different manner which makes it easier for someone else to get the point.

The same goes for fiction writing, actually. If people used this argument in writing novels, no more novels would be written. There are only so many stories out there. But it is what you make of the story, the nuances you put into the story, that make it unique and your own.

Sex-related topics need more exposure

The most compelling reason (in my opinion) for writing a blog post about a topic another blogger has already written about is that some sex related topics need more exposure. If I write a blog post about how I feel that society has conditioned me to be compliant and accommodating, someone may say “Isabelle is clearly a nutter and society is perfect the way it is.” But if three, five, ten sex bloggers say the same thing, then this issue can’t just be brushed off as the ravings of a lunatic.

Sex bloggers tackle some heavy topics at time. It can be hard emotional labour, but when we all point out similar issues in the world, we amplify our voices and we can make ourselves heard. Our messages need to be heard. I love it when I see other bloggers write about the same or similar issues to me, because it makes me feel less alone. It makes me feel less like I am the only freak who is bothered by certain issues.

Your voice matters. Our messages need to be heard, and therefore, no matter how small of a sex blogger you are, you should keep blogging. As we have seen with the #MeToo movement, one voice is an incident, an anecdote, but when hundreds of women speak up, people take note and the message is heard loud and clear.

Let’s make a difference. Let’s spread awareness and keep talking about difficult topics. We can do this together.

1 thought on “Your sex blogger voice matters”

  1. I totally agree with you. That message didn’t hit me as hard from GotN’s talk as it did you, but I am glad to read your spin. It’s reminded me of when BibulousOne and I started talking about our boarding school experiences recently on DM, so we each wrote a post from our own slant, and when we went live with them, we linked each other’s pieces and got a whole lot more views and comments.
    Yeah! Like you say it can turn into a mexican wave of discussions if we all stand up and say our piece! I am definitely going to discuss (rant) about things ESP if I see a similar piece, I’ll simply mention the one which inspired me to write as a link in mine! Wise words Isabelle x

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