handcuffed woman

Pain as pleasure?

I never used to understand people who viewed pain as pleasure. I suffered from endometriosis for about thirty years and the last thing I wanted to feel during sex was pain. I had had enough of that during my years of chronic pain. It seemed strange to willfully inflict pain on oneself (or have a loved one do it) and derive pleasure from it.

You may have noticed that I have written the previous paragraph in the past tense. Lately, my thinking around pain as pleasure has started to change. I do love that about the sex blogger community: reading different viewpoints about sex challenges me and makes me think. While I’m not like to run off and ask my husband to spank me, I do understand why people cherish their bruises and their pain.

So, how did I come to this understanding? Well, recently I have picked up my yoga practice again. I used to do yoga daily, but about a year ago life got very busy and I stopped my yoga practice. You know how it is when you stop working out: the motivation goes and before you know it, you’ve gone a year without a workout. Or, at least, that’s how it was with me.

But as part of my 2020 resolutions, I wanted to start yoga again. With my new – more stressful – job I needed a way to relax and unwind, and yoga is perfect for that. I started Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube, which I can heartily recommend. She’s amazing and her videos are really easy to follow. Yoga isn’t easy, though and for the last week or so I’ve been quite sore from how hard I have pushed myself during my workout.

As I was walking my dog yesterday, after I had been to a class at the local gym, I winced with pain because all my muscles hurt from the workout. But, at the same time, I relished the pain. It reminded me that I had finally started taking care of my body again. That I had managed to work out regularly over the past ten days. My physical pain reminded me that I am taking steps to heal my mental pain, and so, the pain was something positive.

I can now see how the same can be said for pain from BDSM practice. The pain tells you how much you can endure, and afterward, it can remind you of how great the session has been. As I said before, I have no experience with BDSM and I still don’t have the desire to try it (yet, I’m keeping an open mind), but I get it now. I get why people enjoy pain as pleasure and why people want to push themselves to endure more.

Revelations like this are what make me so happy to be part of the sex blogging community!

I wrote this post for both Masturbation Monday and January Jumpstart, so click on the badges below to see the other entries for those memes.

The Insatiable Jane Travers coverThe Insatiable Jane Travers is out now!

It’s the roaring twenties.

Desperate to escape the stifling confines of her life with her aunt and uncle in New York, Jane Travers arrives at her friend Rachel’s country home determined to enjoy a summer full of fun and excitement. Rachel has promised her risqué parties, but what awaits Jane is beyond her wildest dreams. Guided by her old flame, Sidney Fitzroy, and the sensual singer Lillian Smith, Jane enthusiastically embarks on a journey of sexual self-discovery.

With Sidney and Lillian both satisfying her deepest desires, Jane sheds her restrictive upbringing and embraces her newfound freedom. As her feelings for both Lillian and Sidney intensify, Jane faces an impossible choice: a stable future with Sidney or a lifetime of excitement with Lillian.

But how can she choose when her heart belongs to both of them?

7 thoughts on “Pain as pleasure?”

  1. I love yoga too and I don’t I know it if I don’t practice.
    I think it is all a journey, you don’t just jump in at the deep end, there are so many different elements.

    1. I agree. I learn so much from this community. It challenges me to see sex in new ways on a regular basis. I’m not much into BDSM, either, except the occasional spanking or rough sexual encounter. But…I consider trying more simply because I’ve learned what’s behind it…the emotions and mental side of things. And when it makes sense, I begin to open up my own possibilities.

  2. As someone who loves pain as pleasure but definitely hates very specific pain, not all pain is created equal for sure. Some forms of pain make me feel alive and stretched to my limits in the best possible way. Other forms (like stepping on a lego, having cramps, whenever I pinch a nerve in my back), not so much.

  3. Well put. I really relish the pain you feel after a long run, or a day spent exploring. It hurts, sure, but the hurt is a reminder of something hugely positive.

  4. I love yoga, but it does not love me. The last 2 times I have tried to practice it has precipitated a flare of my back issue. I believe that once they sort out this joint and disc I may be able to return to it but for now I must leave it on the shelf.

    I live with chronic pain, and for me, the pain during a caning/spanking/impact session is so different to the pain I usually feel that it becomes cathartic, allowing for just a brief moment an escape from the ‘normal pain’ the endorphins allowing me to escape the pain and my body relaxes.

    MrH doesn’t bruise me, at least we haven’t strayed into this area yet, and this has been surprising as I usually bruise so easily!

    I also gain a lot from reading other blogs, that and speaking to people has allowed me to open my mind and try new things.

    Sweetgirl x

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