I never used to understand people who viewed pain as pleasure. I suffered from endometriosis for about thirty years and the last thing I wanted to feel during sex was pain. I had had enough of that during my years of chronic pain. It seemed strange to willfully inflict pain on oneself (or have a loved one do it) and derive pleasure from it.
You may have noticed that I have written the previous paragraph in the past tense. Lately, my thinking around pain as pleasure has started to change. I do love that about the sex blogger community: reading different viewpoints about sex challenges me and makes me think. While I’m not like to run off and ask my husband to spank me, I do understand why people cherish their bruises and their pain.
So, how did I come to this understanding? Well, recently I have picked up my yoga practice again. I used to do yoga daily, but about a year ago life got very busy and I stopped my yoga practice. You know how it is when you stop working out: the motivation goes and before you know it, you’ve gone a year without a workout. Or, at least, that’s how it was with me.
But as part of my 2020 resolutions, I wanted to start yoga again. With my new – more stressful – job I needed a way to relax and unwind, and yoga is perfect for that. I started Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube, which I can heartily recommend. She’s amazing and her videos are really easy to follow. Yoga isn’t easy, though and for the last week or so I’ve been quite sore from how hard I have pushed myself during my workout.
As I was walking my dog yesterday, after I had been to a class at the local gym, I winced with pain because all my muscles hurt from the workout. But, at the same time, I relished the pain. It reminded me that I had finally started taking care of my body again. That I had managed to work out regularly over the past ten days. My physical pain reminded me that I am taking steps to heal my mental pain, and so, the pain was something positive.
I can now see how the same can be said for pain from BDSM practice. The pain tells you how much you can endure, and afterward, it can remind you of how great the session has been. As I said before, I have no experience with BDSM and I still don’t have the desire to try it (yet, I’m keeping an open mind), but I get it now. I get why people enjoy pain as pleasure and why people want to push themselves to endure more.
Revelations like this are what make me so happy to be part of the sex blogging community!
I wrote this post for both Masturbation Monday and January Jumpstart, so click on the badges below to see the other entries for those memes.
It’s the roaring twenties.
Desperate to escape the stifling confines of her life with her aunt and uncle in New York, Jane Travers arrives at her friend Rachel’s country home determined to enjoy a summer full of fun and excitement. Rachel has promised her risqué parties, but what awaits Jane is beyond her wildest dreams. Guided by her old flame, Sidney Fitzroy, and the sensual singer Lillian Smith, Jane enthusiastically embarks on a journey of sexual self-discovery.
With Sidney and Lillian both satisfying her deepest desires, Jane sheds her restrictive upbringing and embraces her newfound freedom. As her feelings for both Lillian and Sidney intensify, Jane faces an impossible choice: a stable future with Sidney or a lifetime of excitement with Lillian.
But how can she choose when her heart belongs to both of them?