Our next guest to the blogger spotlight series is Nell from Woman on Top. Nell’s blog features sex positive posts as well as sex toy reviews.
What made you decide to start a sex blog?
I started a sex blog as a sort of ‘diary’ – I had sworn myself off men and thought it amusing to document my journey. From there, interest grew and after I re-introduced men into my life, used this as a platform to tell of my stories, tips and what I had learned. I cover everything from sex tips and dating advice to political stances, body positive movements and feminism on a large scale. I have always been quite overtly sexual, and starting a blog was the perfect opportunity to introduce my inner-deviant to anyone that wanted to meet her.
What, if anything, would you like your blog to achieve?
One of my main aims for this blog is to normalize sex. Regardless of what society or your friends are telling you, sex is still considered a taboo and to talk openly about it is almost unheard of. Why should that be the case? Sex is something so normal and yet we are so afraid of discussing it – you know, like it’s actually part of our daily lives or something (?!). Other than that, I tend to write my blog posts and all freelance articles with a fairly heavy feminist stance. I am dedicated to changing the way this world views women. Confidence and sexual empowerment should be encouraged and that’s what my blog promotes. I want grown women to enjoy my blog for the brutally honest sex and feminism and most importantly, I want coming-of-age teens and the younger generation to learn from my blog; about sex and healthy sexual relationships, why something like periods shouldn’t be considered anything other than normal, and self love.
How much do you protect your anonymity as a sex blogger or are you quite open about writing a sex blog? And if the latter, what kind of reactions have you received?
I have always been completely open with my identity. When I first started out as ‘The Man Ban’ (this is what my initial blog hailed by), it caused somewhat of an uproar. I am from a fairly small town and so it was seemingly obvious who the various conquests/suitors were that I was writing about. Whilst I fully understand the reasons why some might opt for anonymity, I think is personally hypocritical to dedicate a blog to sexual empowerment, freedom and normalizing sex and simultaneously choose not to show your identity. My parents used to scold me and tell me that it was shameful to tell the world of my sexual escapades and that, while the writing was good, the content would be more appropriate shared anonymously. Obviously, I completely ignored them and, in truth? It spurred me on. This is the kind of closed mindedness that meant I wanted to fight to normalize sex.
If readers would read only one post from your blog, which one would you recommend (i.e. which is your favourite/most important blog post)?
This is such a difficult question!! There is so much I’d have them read if it were up to me. But this is one of my all time favourites – it embodies everything I stand for; feminism, sexual freedom and doing what you damn well please. I think this post will speak to a wider audience – not only women – because it’s honest and relatable. Come on, who here HASN’T been called a slut? This post specifically relates to something that almost every woman will go through in her life time.
Do you have any advice for other sex bloggers?
Relatable content is key. Keep your blog posts short but sweet (slightly contradicting myself as the above post is from back in the day when I considered 1,000 words a ‘short’ article.) – I tend to go for between 500- 600 words per post. No one has the time to sit and read pages and pages of blog – they want a quick fix on their commute or something to sink their teeth into before bed. And be yourself. Your readers and audience will sniff out a phoney in seconds. And being un-apologetically yourself is refreshing, endearing and what people actually want to read about – they want to hear about your shit shags, bad boyfriends and real life lovers, not your idyllic dream-world and the 97 orgasms you had in the space of a day.
And finally, why have you decided to join Summer 100 Sex Bloggers Challenge and are you really going to write 100 posts?
I think it’s a bloody fantastic idea. I’m SURE I’m not the only sex blogger who often feels frustrated with the lack of attention and even respect they are paid by the rest of the blogging community. To have the opportunity to reach a wider audience and potentially grow my followers is something I’d be foolish to miss out on. Plus I am SO looking forward to being in contact with other sex bloggers; I have zero sex-blogger friends and I am more than ready to connect with some like-minded babes! I am really going to try. I’m also going to cheat (only slightly) and re-write some archived posts as I have already come across new bloggers and sites that I could back link perfectly.