My husband loves performing oral sex on me. Always has. But I haven’t always enjoyed receiving it. Not because he is bad at it, not at all. It was more because I was never relaxed enough to really enjoy it.
As I have stated before, I don’t really love dicks. While I like giving hubby oral sex because I like to give him pleasure, I never really crave to suck his dick purely because I love dicks. For my husband it is different. He loves pussy, and especially mine. He can spend hours just playing with me.
It took me a very long time to realise this. Despite hubby’s assurances that he loves licking me, I always felt slightly guilty when he went down on me. I always felt I had to return the favour, and I didn’t always want to. Or at least not to the extent he did it to me. So sometimes I would ask him to stop; not because I was done with it, but because I felt guilty.
My husband never made me feel guilty. He was perfectly happy with the amount of sex and oral sex he received. The guilt was totally in my head alone.
I’m not entirely sure when things changed for me. I think it was around the time when my libido spiked after my surgery. I was always up for sex and hubby sometimes just wanted to give my pussy some attention. Because I was too horny to feel guilty, I let him have his way with me and it was fantastic. He really loved it as well and this finally opened up my eyes to the fact that maybe hubby gets enjoyment from playing with my pussy.
I still felt bad taking a long time to come. I love oral, but it’s never a quick orgasm for me. And after a while I started to feel self conscious about how long it would take me, which would take me out of the mood and make it ever harder for me to come. Not the ideal situation.
One thing that has helped me relax during oral sex is masturbation. When I started masturbating regularly, I was similarly hard on myself. Although I was by myself – and the only one pleasuring myself – I still mentally berated myself when I took a long time. It’s ridiculous, I know, and I worked on getting better at relaxing during masturbating and just enjoying the experience without “chasing” after the orgasm.
Another factor that helped me relax during oral sex was the fact that I became more sexually empowered. My husband should want to make my come, no matter how long that would take. I deserve an orgasm every time we have sex and it shouldn’t matter if that takes a long time. Of course that mindset makes it much easier for me to orgasm, so that is a great bonus.
Hubby benefits from all of this as well, as he just loves spending time with my pussy. And today I was finally able to see why. I watched a close up of my own cunt when I orgasmed. It was amazing. I have, of course, viewed my own pussy in the mirror, but never up close while I come. I can totally see why my husband loves playing with my pussy so much and why he loves to see me come.
It is easy to get hung up on our own insecurities during sex. But we all deserve pleasure. We all deserve orgasms, no matter how long it takes us. And also: if your partner tells you they love going down on you, believe them. Pussies are amazing – who wouldn’t want to spend a lot of time playing with them?
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