My motto has always been ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. Especially when it comes to sex and masturbation. If it gets me off, then I will keep repeating the same formula. I never really saw a reason to change things. I had my favourite positions during sex and my favourite ways of wanking and that was it. There was hardly any variety.
And then I had a hysterectomy and everything changed. As part of the hysterectomy my uterus, ovaries and cervix were removed in order to get rid of all the endometriosis which had adhered itself to my various organs. In the run up to my hysterectomy I had read obsessively about how this would change my sex life and what other women had experienced. I wasn’t too worried though, as my hysterectomy would take away the biggest obstacle to sex in my life: pain. Without this pain I would be able to enjoy sex again, so the loss of my womb and cervix would be a positive thing.
And of course this was the case. In the first couple of months after my recovery my libido spiked and my husband and I loved having sex. I could finally enjoy deep penetration again without having the shooting pain that always accompanied it. I was ecstatic about wanting sex again. But after a while the regular positions we used to enjoy before endometriosis ruined everything didn’t really seem to work for me anymore.
First of all I didn’t like deep penetration anymore. It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t particularly amazing either. It just didn’t do anything for me anymore. I fully attribute that to the lack of cervix. Not having a cervix means that I have less nerves at the top of my vagina, so being fucked hard just doesn’t make me have all the feels I used to have. It’s not unpleasant and I will happily let my husband fuck me hard if it gives me enjoyment, but I definitely need some clitoral stimulation if I want to enjoy it as much as he.
Not that I view this as necessarily a bad thing. If anything, this has taught me that I should have some variety in the way I have sex. I still love having my G spot stimulated and hubby always willingly obliges. We have added sex toys into our partnered sex as well which helps with clitoral stimulation.
Also when masturbating I switched things up a little. Obviously the introduction of sex toys really enhanced my solo play sessions. But at first the only toys I used were clitoral bullets, which are still my favourites, I have to say. Being a sex toy reviewer is great as you get a chance to try new and different toys. It forces me to add some variety and not always go for the toy that gets me off as quickly as possible, but trying different sensations, dragging out my play longer so I get more pleasure.
I am still not crazy about insertables, unless they are slim and target my G-spot. But I don’t only focus on my clitoris anymore either, as there are so many wonderful places on my vulva I can stimulate.
Variety is the spice of life. We live busy lives and we sometimes get too efficient in how we live our life. It takes guts to try something new and the effort doesn’t always bear fruit either. But your sex life can be enhanced to much when you change things up a little, try something different, introduce a sex toy. I was forced to revalue the way I have sex because my body had literally been changed (surgically), but as we age, our bodies change naturally as well and what used to work ten years ago may not give us optimum pleasure anymore today.