My friend and fellow sex blogger Victoria is celebrating the first blogiversary of her blog Pretty Pink Lotus Bud. I can’t believe it has been a year already. I vividly remember reading her blog post about how she was slut shamed for running a sex blog. Victoria is awesome and if you haven’t checked her blog out, please do so. It’s worth your time.
To celebrate Victoria’s first blogiversary I sent her some questions about her blog.
Your blog is a year old, congratulations! What are the highlights of you year of blogging?
Highlights in my first year of blogging has definitely been my Women’s Orgasms Matter photo shoot.
Hosting the Summer 100…that’s when I really got to learn about the hard work that is being a full-time active blogger. I enjoyed putting that together and I was absolutely elated to have so many other bloggers join me. Like I mention in the Summer 100 Introduction post, I was super nervous that others would be reluctant to join the challenge because I was so new to sex blogging.
One of my biggest highlights was being able to connect with other sex bloggers in real life. I and two other bloggers of color, Rae and Carly, were awarded a scholarship started by Allyson (I’m pretty sure I’m butchering her name…sorry) of SugarCunt Writes to the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit. I met so many amazing persons. It was my first ever visit to the DMV. I learned so much. I sang, I danced, and I fell in love. It was an AMAZING experience.
Another huge highlight for me was seeing all of my sex blogger tribe come together to help out and support me during a very, very stressful Hurricane Harvey situation. I felt very much on the verge of a total mental meltdown. I was under an extreme amount of stress. I cried almost every day between having to deal with that, work full time, and take care of my two children. It was a disaster beyond natural. I was so thankful to Lilly for starting the fundraiser and offering free ads on her site.
I had no car, all rentals were unavailable through October so I had to take Uber and Lyft to meet with insurance and FEMA Agents, and do everything else. I could not have met that financial burden without this support. I am exponentially grateful.
And thank you so much for your kind words during this tough time. Society is super sucky to single mothers and it’s very disheartening.
Blogging can be difficult and a somewhat isolated endeavour. Sex blogging can be even more challenging. Did you ever feel like giving up in the last year? What do you do to stay motivated?
I’ve blogged about lots of things prior to starting my sex blog. I blogged about just myself…like an online diary. Then, I blogged about being married. After that, I blogged about hair, and finally about life lessons and setting goals.
I quit all of them. I have not once thought about quitting my sex blog. This is the first time that I’ve ever considered quitting my job to do this. No, I’m not there yet, but the fact that the thought entered my mind was like, “whoa, I really love this”. During my whole Hurricane Harvey situation, I was resentful of not being able to devote the energy I desired to Pretty Pink Lotus Bud.
I have truly found my passion and I feel that in my soul. It’s all the motivation I need.
Tell me a bit about your involvement with Women’s Orgasms Matter. How did that start?
When I started Pretty Pink Lotus Bud, I was so excited to dive into the world of sex. I wanted to make sure that I had enough material to blog from an informed perspective so I purchased Come As You Are by Emily Nogoski and started doing a ton of internet research on sexuality.
One of the things I came across during my research was the survey addressing the orgasm gap. I’ll be honest. Although everything about it resonated with me, I was still shocked. Beyond that, I was outraged. The part that struck me deepest was when an article I was reading began addressing the fact that there were women who had given birth to multiple children yet had never experienced an orgasm.
I am an extremely orgasmic person. When people would say they didn’t know what the big deal was about sex, I’d get slightly offended. To not know the pleasure of an orgasm is blasphemy to me. As I began sharing what I had learned about the orgasm gap, I realize so many, like myself, are unaware that this gap exists. What was also shocking was that many men I shared this with were not surprised.
I am so passionate about orgasms that I felt like something needs to be done about this gap. This is an epidemic on a soul level. And thus, #WomensOrgasmsMatter was birth.
How has you blog helped you grown as a sexual being in the last year? Has it helped you become more open about sexuality in real life?
I have grown immensely as a sexual being. It’s inevitable. When you open up such a spiritual part of yourself, growth is inevitable.
I would have to say that my blog has caused me to be much more open about my sexuality…more out if you will. It’s only now beginning to spill over into real life which is kinda scary and very liberating.
My blog has helped by making me feel more comfortable in my sexuality and revealing that there are so many others just like me and so many who are different yet all of it resonates with me.
I’m not weird like others have attempted to convince me.
What can we expect from Pretty Pink Lotus Bud in the next year(s)?
I’ve never seen anything like what I am doing in the way that I am doing it. I am so excited and my imagination is going wild. I am coloring outside the lines in a way I never have before. I treat my work in sex like it’s no different than any other business, profession, or passion. To be honest, I can’t tell you where or how this might go but I am sure looking forward to the adventure.
I plan to do much work in the community with creating sex positive spaces especially for black womxn. As much as I’ve needed Pretty Pink Lotus Bud, I understand that it is something we all need.
I plan to publish books and resources. I’ve also partnered with the community organization, L.A.B. and sexual health professionals to collaborate on a workshop in June. I am too excited about my very first speaking engagement as a sex blogger.
I definitely want to do more body positive modeling normalizing postpartum bodies. I had so much fun in my recent boudoir shoot.
I so want this to go places I never imagined it would. I want to proclaim before an audience of millions that Women’s Orgasms Matter.
Victoria is also running a giveaway to subscribers of her blog, so head on to Pretty Pink Lotus Bud and check it out!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for interviewing me. It felt good to talk it out.