Every time I say I’m done with sex toy reviews I somehow get suckered back into it. Paloqueth contacted me months ago asking if I would review some of their sex toys and I sent them my rates. I didn’t hear from them for a long time and then recently they emailed me agreeing to my fee. So I picked two toys from their catalogue, toys I thought I would certainly like, among which the Paloqueth Heating Tongue Vibrator. Let’s see how that worked out, shall we?
I hope it doesn’t need spelling out, but even though I was paid for this review, I’m offering an unbiased review of this product.
I chose the Palonqueth Heating Tongue Vibrator because it sounded different from any other vibrator I have tried. The toy is shaped like a tongue, with little nubs that supposedly rub your clitoris in a pleasant way. The vibrator has 7 different rotation modes and 7 different vibration modes and each is operated independently. So, in theory, you could have 49 different ways of using this toy, but we all know I never use the patterns on vibrators, so it’s only the speeds I’d be interested in.
Another feature of the Paloqueth Heating Tongue Vibrator is that it heats up. I always love toys that heat up, as I’m a naturally cold person, so if sex toys can be warmed up, that’s a bonus. It’s partly for that reason I love glass toys. But I digress.
The Paloqueth Heating Tongue Vibrator is rechargeable and – per the information on their website – made of 100% body safe TPE. I had never heard of TPE, so had to look it up. The tongue part of the toy feels very rubbery, and not at all like the reassuring body-safe feel of my silicone toys. The handle is made of ABS plastic, which seems about right. As that’s not the part that would connect with my vulva, I’m not too concerned about that part. Looking up TPE, it turns out that it is, indeed, rubber, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I don’t know enough about rubber and plastic to say whether TPE is indeed body safe. All I can say is that the material feels a bit sticky, but at least there was no smell.
I was a bit hesitant about the rubbery feel of the Paloqueth Heating Tongue Vibrator, but I was looking forward to see how the rotation would work. I thought that could be pretty neat. Maybe even – gasp! – pleasurable. First I turned on the heating function so that the toy would be nice and cosy. It took only about a minute to warm up and then I was ready to try it.
Using a generous amount of lube, I prepared myself for the toy. As soon as I turned it on, though, I knew I was in trouble. And not in a good way. The toy was loud. The sound shouldn’t really matter that much, but after having used many quiet toys, I guess I’m spoiled now. I didn’t really enjoy the sound – and it took me a bit out of my mood.
The noise would not be so bad if the toy was actually good. When I started the rotation of the Paloqueth Heating Tongue Vibrator it didn’t gently rotate as I had expected. The head of the vibrator, although rubbery on the surface, was quite hard underneath, probably because of the mechanics inside to make it rotate. My clit didn’t like it. The rotations of the head made the tongue hit my clit quite hard, but in an annoying way. My clit is quite robust and can withstand quite a bit of pressure, but these rotations felt more like someone was slapping me down there than licking me. It didn’t feel much like a tongue to me.
Paloqueth notes on their website that the Paloqueth Heating Tongue Vibrator can be used both clitorally and internally, but I have to admit that I didn’t use it internally. The toy scared me, and it was unpleasant enough using it on my clitoris. My vagina is a bit fussy and I really didn’t want to hurt it. Even in the interest of sex toy reviewing I couldn’t bring myself to inset the toy.
This toy definitely was not for me. It felt cheap and I didn’t like the rubber of the tongue part. The rotations didn’t feel good to my clit and I was too afraid to use it internally. It’s very well possible that if you like slapping sensation against your vulva that you’ll love this toy.
You can get the Paloqueth Heating Tongue Vibrator at Paloqueth for $19.99.