My husband is a bit of a computer freak and a bit of a hoarder. Which is how he came to find an old erotic story of mine on a floppy disk. Yes, I am that old, and so was that story. He found it very arousing and let me read a bit of this and, readers, I cringed so hard. That was SUCH bad writing, I couldn’t believe it. What was I thinking?
As cringe-worthy as reading that old story was, I am so happy I read it. It made me realise how far I have come since writing that first erotic story. (It also made me realise how long I have wanted to write erotica, after that story I wrote 18 years ago I didn’t write erotica again until last year.)
With the changing of the years and the many round ups of 2017 and new year’s goal setting of 2018 it is easy to feel as if you have failed. I know that, despite my optimistic 2017 review post, I feel like I haven’t accomplished enough with my blog yet. Other bloggers who have only been around for a year are already making money from their blog and here I am, still floundering amateurishly.
I am a very impatient person. I want immediate results. I work hard at my blog and I feel that I should be further than I am right now. Finding that erotic story, however, showed me how much progress I have made. Sure, that was 18 years ago, but even a year ago my erotic writing was still really in its infancy. I have come such a long way and sometimes it is good to look back on the progress you have made rather than beat yourself up over not being where you want to be yet.
So be kind to yourself this year. Even my children are being taught at school to look at their progress, rather than at their accomplishments. You’re not standing still, you are making your way towards your goal. Sometimes it takes a bit longer than you expected (although I hope it won’t take me another 18 years to make a success of this blog!), but with time comes experience and wisdom. Sometimes your progress needs to be slow, because you need time to mature in your skill set. Sometimes you need time to learn. That is not wasted time, you are working towards something and once you get there, it will be all the better for the time you have spent perfecting it.
I almost asked my husband to delete that awful story. I didn’t. I like it to forever stand as a reminder of how far my writing has come. I know I can still do better. I know I still need to grow more. But look at how much progress I have made!