Sex toy review: Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager

Paloqueth box

I have an obsession with wand massagers, which is why I chose to review the Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager. I know that the Doxy is the gold standard for wand massagers, but as I can’t afford a Doxy, I’ll happily test other massagers.

In the interest of full disclosure: I did get paid to test the Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager, but this review is unbiased. I would never write a positive review if those weren’t my thoughts.

The Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager is actually quite big and heavy. I was really impressed when I first took it out of the box. The head of the massager is quite big as well. It’s made of soft body-safe silicone and the handle is made of ABS plastic. The buttons are easy to use and the toy is rechargeable, so no need to fuss with batteries.

I did have a chuckle when reading the leaflet that came with it (and the information on the website) as it seems to be marketed as a sports massager, talking about sore muscles and the like. Considering that it’s sold on a sex toy website, I’m wondering: why the pretence? Why not just say that it’s a sex toy and you should totally massage your bits with it? It seems needlessly coy.

Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager

I was actually really excited to try the Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager. Sure, considering it sells for only $29.99 on their website should have been a clue that it wouldn’t be as powerful as I would like, but maybe I was thrown off by how well-made it felt or how heavy it was (as if weight is the deciding factor in how well a toy works).

Turning it on, the first thing I noticed was the noise level. Unlike with the other Paloqueth toy I tried, the noise didn’t really bother me that much. After all, even the Doxy is extremely loud, or so I’ve been told. I kind of expected it with a wand massager. I mean, I still should only use this when the house is clear (don’t really want to traumatise my kids), but I can live with that.

Head of the Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager

The head of the Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager is slightly bevelled. I have tested wand massagers before and the heads were always smooth. I’m not entirely sure why the head on this toy is bevelled; I mean, what is that supposed to do? The pattern is too smooth to make a difference to my clit, so why bother at all with it? I’m sure it has some function, even if it’s just for aesthetics.

So…how did I like it? Well, the buttons are nice (I already said that, didn’t I?). I do find it extremely irritating to have to figure out the buttons when I’m mid-wank, so it’s nice that I didn’t have to faff around too much with this one.

Buttons on the cordless wand massager

The toy is not as buzzy as I was worried it would be. Cheaper toys tend to lean towards the buzzy side of things, but the Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager, albeit not deeply rumbly, leaned more towards the rumbly side. The vibrations did travel down the handle towards my hand, though, which worried me a little bit. With a toy that size, you want to have all the power concentrated in the head; it’s not my hand that needs stimulation.

Applying the wand massager to my vulva I was sadly disappointed. Despite rumbliness when the toy is on and held in my hand, the rumbles seem to dissipate as soon as I press the head of the massager against my vulva. I had expected – hoped for – nice, deep vibrations throughout my whole groin, but sadly, that did not happen. It wasn’t unpleasant, and someone who is maybe more sensitive than me might really like it, but it just fell short of providing me with the pleasure I needed.

Paloqueth Cordless Massager charging

All in all, I’m not mad with the Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager. Do I wish it had more power? Sure. But it’s cheap, so I feel like I can’t really complain much about it. If you’re looking for a high-quality wand massager which is going to blow your socks off, this is not it. It’s probably better to use it for its stated use: as a sport’s massager. As a sex toy, it’s sadly lacking for me.

You can get the Paloqueth Cordless Wand Massager from the Paloqueth website for $29.99.

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