The difference between porn and erotica

I love reading and writing erotica. Both erotic romance and the more smutty, porn-like erotica that really only focuses on the sex. I also like watching porn. Recently I have noticed that the porn I like to watch is vastly different from the porn I like to read. This really puzzled me, so I decided to write a blog post about it.

We all have sexual fantasies. Some of those fantasies may be ones that we would like to realise at some point in our lives, while others would firmly stay in the realm of dreams. There is no real rhyme or reason to our fantasies and they can change over time. It’s also not a shame to have sexual fantasies at all.

I most definitely have a number of fantasies which would horrify me in real life. I’m happily married and feel no need to participate in an orgy or a gang bang, yet the idea of those can arouse me to no end. I love reading and writing stories along those lines. I’ve recently written a story about an orgy for MyErotica.com which can still make me wet when I read it.

However, when I watch porn, my preference is entirely different. I don’t really like cocks. My husband’s is great, but the idea of being fucked by a number of strange men in real life is a definite turn off for me. (Yes, the brain is weird!) And as a result, I don’t tend to watch a lot of porn featuring men. I’m fine when men are there pleasuring women with their tongue or fingers (yum!), but as soon as I see a cock, I wince a little and eventually decide to watch something else.

Is the difference between porn and erotica the fact that I don’t like the sight of cocks? Seeing a woman’s pussy is so much more appealing and arousing to me. As soon as a cock comes into the picture, I tend to cool off. On the other hand, the erotica I read better have lots of men in it, the more the merrier. It’s not something I can really fathom.

Maybe it has something to do with the imagination. I love reading thrillers, but I don’t like watching blood and violence on TV. In my imagination I don’t have to see the men; although I am not sure what I am imagining when I write about my heroine taking loads of cocks in her mouth and cunt during an orgy. It does make me wet, but don’t try to show me a similar scene in porn.

I have to admit that this particular quirk of mine annoys me. I would love to be one of those people who like cocks in all forms of entertainment. I feel like fraud when I say I don’t like cocks, but then I go off and write about orgies all the time. I will masturbate to the idea of being gang banged, but I never like seeing nude pictures of men. I loudly proclaim how I would never solicit dick pics (not even from my own husband), but I gleefully place my heroine in a position of having to suck a lot of dicks.

I think that maybe porn makes everything become a bit too real for me. When I read erotica, it’s all a distant fantasy. Something that is arousing if I don’t picture it too much. I like the words, the urgency of men wanting to fuck my heroine, the fact that she is desirable. I don’t like the actual act, but I become aroused because of what the act represents. Because of how powerful it makes my heroine feel, even if she is the one being humiliated and used. I don’t like the visual of an orgy, but I like the feeling.

Gang bang and orgy fantasies (to me) are all about being used, receiving pleasure until it becomes almost painful. I like that idea and erotica allows me to experience those feelings of exhilaration (albeit heavily diluted). Porn is an entirely different medium and often focuses more on male pleasure and gaze. The woman is there to be used for the man’s pleasure. If she comes, it’s a happy coincidence, not the sole reason of the movie. I think it’s because of this distinction that I’m not able to lose myself in a porn movie as much as I can in erotica.

Then again, maybe I haven’t found the right porn yet. It could just be as simple as that. Either way, I may just have to accept that this is the way I am and enjoy my erotica filled with lots of men, and my porn filled with lots of women. The best of both worlds, right?

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