Fantasies of being gang-banged

I consider myself quite vanilla. I have only had sex with 2 men in my life (consensual, that is), I have been with my husband for 21 years (married for almost 17) and we are both monogamous. I like it that way. I am not telling you all these things because I want a medal or anything. Far from it. NO, I am telling you this to frame what I am going to tell you next. Continue reading “Fantasies of being gang-banged”

I want to tackle rape culture, not just sexual assault

Consent

The #MeToo movement has really taken off, sparking many discussions about sexual assault and how women are treated in general. Of course in this debate people still (deliberately) misunderstand what the #MeToo movement is about.  Continue reading “I want to tackle rape culture, not just sexual assault”

Women wear black to the Golden Globe Awards, but is time really up?

The Golden Globes. Women wearing black in protest against sexual harassment. Men wearing pins in solidarity reading “Time’s Up”. Great signs that the tide is finally turning, right? Continue reading “Women wear black to the Golden Globe Awards, but is time really up?”

How the latest sexual harassment allegations helped me recognise my own gaslighting

Sexual harassment seems to be a hot topic these days. Allegations of sexual misconduct have been brought out against Harvey Weinstein, Roy Moore and Louis CK, to name a few, and here in the UK we have seen our own spate of sexual harassment claims against members of parliament. As a consequence, Twitter has exploded with women coming forward to tell their own – often harrowing – tales of sexual harassment, particularly under the hashtag #MeToo. Continue reading “How the latest sexual harassment allegations helped me recognise my own gaslighting”

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of

It seems like I talk about masturbation a lot, both here and on Twitter. But I think masturbation is important, for a number of reasons. Obviously, as a sex blogger I am sometimes required to masturbate when I test out sex toys to review (oh, the hardship!). As I said in an earlier post, I have probably masturbated more in the last year than I have in the 19 years previously. Continue reading “Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of”

We are all different: why body positivity makes common sense

A while ago I was sat on the couch, reading a book, minding my own business. My 8 year old son sat next to me, poked me in the stomach and said, ‘You need to lose weight, you are fat.’

I was aghast. Aside from the fact that, while I have gained a bit more weight in the last year, I am by no means fat, it’s not his place to say I need to lose weight. And so I told him that he was being judgemental and I didn’t need to lose weight.
Continue reading “We are all different: why body positivity makes common sense”

Not everything women do is for the benefit of men


I love wearing high heels. Not so much when I am out and about shopping, for example, or walking home, but when I am in the office or the rare occasion I am going out, I like to put on a high, preferably strappy, heel. I love the way heels give me confidence and I love how much taller I am in them (I am a shorty without heels). My manager, who prefers practical, low heeled shoes, once commented on my choice of footwear.
‘I would never wear heels like that in the office,’ she said. ‘There is just no one at work I feel the need to impress.’ Continue reading “Not everything women do is for the benefit of men”